Tuesday, March 30, 2010

no other choice

Today I have had to make yet another hard decision. Well, it seemed almost made FOR me, but I still had to take action on it. I had to email our international agency and tell them to please put the girls back on the waiting lists. We are unable to continue. We had only asked for photos and the usual medical update type of information, and in a year and a half, their country has not given this. They then made so many demands and requests for information on our homestudy, that it took a YEAR! Then, we see they want us to sign over power of attorney to the lawyer there. His words last week about stabbed me in the heart. "the girls are available for adoption, and we are ready to begin this process." But they wanted us to show we were serious(um, by sending money I suppose?) While WE wanted them to prove the girls exist and So both failed adoptions in a single week. This has me feeling pretty down to say the least. I still am waiting to see how God fills the void and blesses obedience. I hope to see some good really soon.


Lori said...

Oh, friend...I'm so, so sorry. I know your heart is so overwhelmed right now with disappointment. What a bitterly painful week you've had. But you are right...God will fill your void as only He can.

Praying for you.

The Byrd's Nest said...

Oh sweet Hezra....I am so sorry. Is this a Hague convention country? Doesn't sound like it...sounds vaguely like Guatemala used to be. Oh my heavens...my heart is just hurting for you. Somehow...someday....you will know what His plan is. It is so terribly hard to wait on Him....but Jesus waited....patiently for His Father's timing....and He prayed...He is our ultimate example.

I read this today in my devotional....No one understands, listens or loves like God. He desires to draw us closer to Him and to be still so we can hear His voice and follow Him. I know that you do this...and I know that you are waiting to hear Him.

In Christ we are NEVER alone!
Love you:)

Alicia said...

I'm so sorry. I know how you had prayed for those girls.

We need to have some chocolate and coffee time...SOON, I think.


Jean said...

Oh Hezra- I am so sorry. This had been an extremely difficult week filled with sorrow and disappointment.

We also had to back out of a similar situation. It wasn't because of the child but because of the lawyer and his shady ways. I still think of her and wonder how she is?
But God is good and guided us where he wanted us to go- he will do that for you dear friend and he will heal your broken heart.

Praying for you.

Misty said...

Hezra...we will continue to lift you and your family (those that are w/you and those that God created from the foundations of the earth knowing that they would be yours) but that you may have not met yet... I believe that God will grant you the desires of your heart, Hezra, because I believe that these are His desires. I believe that God gave you the desire to adopt and to have a large family...you and Dan have His heart! God will fill the void, He will bless obdience, He will use all these things to His glory..and your family will be better and bigger for having gone through all of this!! I just know it!! Easy said sitting here, at my laptop... but I am disappointed w/you, and hoping and praying and wanting all these things for you. I am blessed to know you and blessed by your blog!! Big HUGS to you.

Christy O said...

Praying with you at this time. It is so very painful, I am so sorry! I have had friends remind us that we might have been saved from more pain through some of these things, and while that is true, it doesn't change our feelings as we walk this road. Know that down the road you will see the why's and wherefore's and God's plan - somewhere. god loves you all!
Christy in WI