OK I am just throwing this out there into cyberspace. I have to vent and have no other safe spot to do it other than my blog. I am crying now and have been off and on for the last 24 hrs. I have had to inform people of our new baby news, and understandably they are surprised. I get that. I am surprised. I would expect nothing LESS. What I am shattered by, though, is the quick judgments and harsh words and critical things that have been hurled at me IN surprise. It is so hard to deal with those who love you the most sometimes. When you all of a sudden think differently than they thought you did. I am just going to throw this out there-- WE love kids! We know there are kids who need homes. We KNOW we can't save them all. We KNOW it cost money to raise children. WE KNOW we are not perfect, rich or always stable and consistent. I do NOT see children from outside my genepool as "a gamble", a "blank check" or somehow less than me. And neither does God.
BUT that said.... We are aware of our imperfections. Please for heaven's sake do NOT point them out to us now.
I am so broken right now because the hardest thing for me ever is to feel misunderstood. I feel like people just think I go off and do crazy things without ever thinking them through. I DO!! I analyze things to death.
I don't expect everyone to adopt children. I know not everyone is called to that. And I don't judge others for NOT doing that. I would appreciate the same respect. It breaks my heart that I see a need that God has placed practically IN my lap, and gird up for filling that need, then get slapped around and questioned by people whom I trust with my heart. (um, no not the hubster by the way. lol he is fully in agreement with me on this)
I feel so frustrated that people say "there are so many people waiting for new baby's you shouldn't take him, let someone else." There IS NO ONE ELSE standing up to do it! This is HOW kids get families, someone stands up with papers in hand and says, I will do it!
I feel like we are in a game of life and there are moments when we all have to step up to the plate. So, here we are doing that. With our imperfect selves, our imperfect bank accounts, our less than organized home.... etc etc etc. But we step up and say, WE will go to bat for this one. Why is it so hard for them to understand that? I have no idea.