Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Letter to a child- "Bedroom Bylaws"

Dear little Moriah,
My sweet 4 yr old. My darling tiniest daughter. My "baby." May I begin with telling you I love you with every fiber of my being. I absolutely adore the God of the heavens who brought you to me. I love that you remind me to live, and laugh and dance and sing.
There is, however a problem in our relationship. You must STOP climbing into my bed every night. You have more predictable timing than a clock! Every night at midnight, like some strange Cinderella story, you are running down the hall. Then once there, you kick. You pull hair, you snore(as loud as Daddy, I might add), and you occasionally pee on me. I do not enjoy waking up wet, and feeling abused-- emotionally, physically and psychologically. I have lovingly and willingly provided you with attachment parenting. You lived in the sling attached to my body for your first 6 months. You crawled following my every move for weeks after that. Then you walked at 9 mos and followed me even faster. I have had you near me to bathe, you have followed me to the bathroom.... I have had few private moments. By three you were handing me my underclothes as I got dressed. NOW, we must learn a new, hard lesson. It is called "tough love" my sweet baboo. It does not mean mommy does not love you. Just that I need to be tougher than you. We now begin a teensy bit of DETACHMENT parenting. This will be where you and I no longer sleep in MY bed. So, here are the new Bedroom Bylaws. I understand you are scared of your windows, but we will cover, adorn and block the said windows until they are no longer visible from the inside. You may have a lamp on ALL night long. Even if your sister has to have a spa- like sleep mask.If you have a bad dream, I will lie next to you on YOUR bed. I will pray for you, hold your hand and kiss you. I will not let you in my bed! All naps will heretofore be on your bed, nI hope this has been clear and loving enough. I am now going to order a new bedpad from Overst*ck, because there was a small hole in mine I was unaware of, and your last lake Erie managed to make it through. I also must go spray my mattress and let it air. When we make the bed together (because I know you love that!) please refrain from saying "our" bed? It really will make e feel like you understood this whole new set of rules. Thank you, love you so much, Mama


susieloulou said...

I feel your pain. We used to let kids bring a blanket and sleep on the floor by our bed when nothing else would do - it's not nearly as appealing as kicking and punching your parents all night apparently.
Love your blog!!

Alicia said...

Oh, my dear friend, I feel your pain. Aidan refuses to sleep in his bed. I'm just glad he doesn't pee on me. He just sleeps sideways and kicks me out!

Ruth Branson said...

How lovingly, determinedly, beautifully, humorously written!

Good luck with the new plan!! Keep us posted on how it's going.


Leah said...

You are so funny. I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it goes.

Misty said...

LOL!!! I have a toddler bed...RIGHT NEXT to my bed...apparently it is just for stuffed animals, as those are the only ones sleeping in it...Derek (when he is home & not at work), Selah and I...we share 'our' bed...UGH!!! I sleep w/Selah more than I sleep w/Derek!!!

Jean said...

Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do! How's it working? We need a follow up post!!

Love it!! I'll be smiling inside all day long after reading this one!!

OUR bed- that is so funny!