I am stealing an idea from my bloggy friend and doing a True story this happy Tuesday.
Our story begins with our eldest being 8. It was Christmas. Our kids were 8,6,4,23 mos and 8 mos. We were discussing the story of baby Jesus and his birth over supper. I was planning to read the story and bathe the kids, then put them in their fresh new Christmas pjs. Well, it went a little . . . off my plan. I got to the part where Mary was expecting and Joseph didn't know what to do. Riley said, WHAT? They weren't MARRIED?(uh oh) Elijah said, you are kidding?(huh?) Olivia says, "baby Jesus had no daddy???"(sweet kid). The babies happily munched on, but then Riley said, oh, so there was no sperm? Dan and I stopped midbite. I swear I could hear crickets. Isaw 4 prs of brown eyes looking expectantly at me.(one set was a grown up pair of my hubby) I said, um, Riley where did you hear that word? We haven't , um, talkred about that with school yet.(we homeschool) He shrugged and said casually, "oh I havebeen readin' the encyclopedias." Dan muttered something about--"store them on a higher shelf", and no one else asked any more questions. I thought we were done for a while. But then a few months later. . . the real questions came.
Dad and Riley were on KP duty. Washing dishes. I hear, "Dad, are sperm amphibians or reptiles." Lots of silence. Dan said, "um, amphibians, I guess" Riley laughed and said, "no dad, I know WHAT they are, I was just kidding. What I don't know is, how they get from the guy to the uterus. HAH! Dad was sufficiently scared away, because the word uterus had arrived on the scene from his 9 year old son. He stammered. . . "um, well, I bet your mom would tell you that." I said(through gritted teeth)
I think that is the DADS job!" This went on a bit and Riley said exasperated, would SOMEBODY tell me??" I said, "ok, go to my room and we will have a grown up chat." I gave D a last glare. . . So when we sat down, I said(wisely I might add-- God provided this one) "well, Riley, you tell me what you know about reproduction and I will answer any questions and fill in the gaps." Well, I won't bore you with embarrassing details. Let's just say, he asked all the right questions. We left no stone unturned. The whole story of the birds and the bees was let loose. He took it well. He even said, "mom, thank you for telling me the truth. Why didn't dad tell me?" I said, well, you just shocked him. We weren't expecting these questions so, um, soon." He said, "oh." Then, "well, you know, after all this time, I thought moms had the hard job." I said, "what do you mean?" He said, "well, the mom has to carry the baby, then birth the baby, then breastfeed the baby. She doesn't get much sleep. . . Now I know the dad has a hard job too." I said,"um, really?(trying to figure out where I had gone wrong)" He said, "well, yeah, How that man EVER convinces that woman to sleep naked I will NEVER know!" Then he scampered off like the normal 9 year old kid. Like he hadn't just blown me out of the toddler pool into the deep waters of preteen ocean.