Saturday, August 8, 2009

Everything I need to know I learned on vacation

The deep and not so deep.
1. Do not give out Dramamine to the hubsy when you are 2 hrs into a 7 hr trip.(no matter how whiney, I mean how much he begs) If you do, realize there is a NON drowsy formula. He popped those pills so fast. I was amazed. I said did you take them already? He said, well you gave them to me. I said, how did you ever survive high school. He smarts off "with a little help from my friends" HAH! So the moral? Say no to drugs.
2.If you accidentally DID do number one, you can let him have MT Dew and no doze. He survives the over the counter drug mix pretty well. But make sure you are dealing with a guy 220 or so.
3.USE the GPS from the beginning. E says it means Getting places safely. Good job son. But we came up with a few more, get pleasantly surprised? (as in stumble onto a store while lost) going precariously somewhere(as in lost on a swerving mountain road), and many others the kids and I thought of in the moment. Here is the kicker with GPS. Trust the darned thing!! IF you are going to use it, then trust it. Do not take a turn cause it "feels right." No I was not the driver. I tell you, I think a trip was good marriage counseling and therapy all in one. TRUST each other? NO! Trust GPS? YES!!
4. When a person says"please dispose of this" it means quietly, and skillfully GET RID of it. as in, it is something at least slightly revolting. It does NOT mean lick it off! (no I did not do this, and yes the spider on the butter knife was saved from untimely death.)
5. Trash cans in every seat, or every room, or well, everywhere you can fit one, is the way to go!
6.DO NOT attempt to make your family stay at a hotel where there is caution tape! This involved threatening him. I am sad to say. Thus be flexible. JUST because you had plans to stay there and actually had them "hold" two rooms for you, doesn't mean you have to stay. (hold? Hold up? holding drugs? why did they have caution tape?? I was not sending out scouts!sure, maybe they DID just paint the porch but I am not sticking around to get the scoop!)
7. Air freshener. 'Nuff said.
8. Canoeing with your spouse is a great form of therapy. Add three kids into it, and just "float" with the conversations. . .
9. Have snacks all the time readily available. For some reason, people begin to act as though they were raised by wolves when the food supply gets too low. They quickly turn on one another in some prehistoric type of display. Fascinating but I am thinking unhealthy. It is easier and kinder to all to JUST FEED the animals!often.mommy too.
10. Listen to music. . . rollin' rollin' rollin' on the river. . . Music is the soundtrack to life. Get it going and watch everyone become a bobble head.

Listen. Love. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Eat. Drink. Be happy and do fun thing, then rest a lot. Life will be like a vacation every day.


Lori said...

Wow, sounds like National Lampoon! Perhaps you could write a screenplay for the next one! :)

So funny!!

Mom Of Many said...

You crack me up! Glad you made it back alive - actually, glad your DH did too. LOL

Jean said...

great post and words of wisdom! Sounds like a fun and interesting time!! I understand the air freshener- we got to the pint where we knew who it was- wink wink!