I really don't feel like writing today. I am discouraged. I know, this is probably part of the "process" of adoption. Feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed. I figure it needs to be seen and I need to deal with it-- and since I do that by writing. . . here it is.
The news is, there IS no news. I have a giant stack of homestudy paperwork to fill out, and 10 hrs of a training video with online tests to do, and $$$$ to pull together. A fairy Godmother with a magic wand would be handy about now. We are trucking through our spanish, but still feeling, um, not so bilingual. I have no updates about the girls, no pictures.
My sweet hubby though, who has every right to say this idea is nutso, simply says, "you were created for this Babe! No backing down." Not that I necessarily WANT to back down, but I am getting a little weary. The laundry piles, the messy bedrooms, the unmade beds, and the unfinished schoolwork, leaves a mamma feeling like her day was futile. I have the truth though. I KNOW my kids learned new things, we enjoyed the weird warm weather outside, we danced our tutus off, we baked, we giggled, we did haircuts and polished nails and grew crystals. We learned our first bible verse in Spanish and our first Hymn(Esta Aqui, Esta Aqui, aleluja mi Senor Esta Aqui-- E said is sounded like, I sing off key, I sing off key. . .lolol) We read awesome books and had playtime with our circle of friends. We ministered to loved ones at the hospital and hugged and prayed with strangers. So even though to the world's eyes, we may not have accomplished alot, in God's eyes we made so much progress. I suppose I just need to renew my mind and continue to get HIS perspective on this mountain that stands in the way. The confusion, the money, the worry. . . he is so much bigger than those things. So. I will have a brownie and coffee with the kids. A hot bath, and keep praying for HIS will to be done, HIS kingdom to come, and give my burden over to Him.