Monday, June 21, 2010
Remembering the God's amazing acts. That was something the Isrealites did well. And sometimes not so well. They built alters and memorials at some places where wonderful things happened. When God proved Himself a faithful Father, they would DO something tangible to remember. Then came the wandering in the wilderness.... I would like to NOT be a part of that, thank you. I would, however, like to remember the GOOD things and be grateful for the good God has done.
There are times when a certain little boy in our home gets to be extremely difficult. There are times when I think I need the nap or the time out. He can show all the worst human traits at the same time it seems. The bottom line though, is that God loves him, and we love him. Our Isaiah came to us as the first adoption. I had a 5 yr old boy, 3 yr old boy and an 18 month old little girl when I began dreaming of adoption. I was literally DREAMING all the time about babies on my doorstep and women passing a baby to me in a busy crowd. Odd dreams. But the weird thing was, I had WANTED another child so badly, that the idea of adoption gave me hope. Still, when a woman with 3 kids and a previous medical condition AND no extra cash lying around decides to adopt, how WILL that work? I had heard horror stories of, "it is so expensive," and "people stay on waiting lists forever!" So, over time, I put it out of my head, but never out of my heart. Not a week after the MOST realistic dream yet, my dear friend for years called me crying. Her niece was expecting. We had all three had our girls at the same time. This niece was not 18, but a 23 yr old single mom trying to finish school. I cried with her for a bit and felt hopeless FOR M for a while. Then I said, "you know K, there are SO many families waiting for babies! M could find a family if she were really overwhelmed by the thought of raising another baby. I know this last year has been so hard for her and going to school is difficult already with J. But if she could do it, that would be a way to bless others and for HER to be able to finish school and get the career she is working toward." K said, "oh, I don't KNOW. Maybe she could..." We talked a bit more and then I had to go get everyone lunch. (meaning the PBS show they were watching was over!) While I was feeding the kids, I got another call. From M!! She was crying, I said, "OH! I am so sorry this has happened." She said, "would you and Dan adopt my baby? I COULD do it if it were you guys! I know that I could." I was crying and shakey and trying to get out an answer, I had to say, "I will call him and call you back." God had given me notice of the scripture in Isaiah spread wide your tent stakes, you will not be ashamed... I had the feeling we should but didn't know if Dan would agree. Three little kids under 6 was already an armload. Then the money. The house was too small(we had already talked about needing a bigger house) But when he came home for lunch we talked more. He agreed!
Then January 31st, my baby boy was born. We snagged Aunt Ash to come with us as nanny duty. We stayed in an awesome cabin with two bedrooms. When we got to the hospital, the nurses gave ME a room to be with our little guy. M handed him over and I took care of him. Everyone was in new territory. There were tears and awkward moments all around. The birth family had to have had their mixed feelings. WE had to look like the last group that needed a new baby with all our litter in tow. But the instant I held him. Dan looked over my shoulder. The little boy was splotchy, red, had dry scaly skin from being overdue. He was skinney and wrinkly. But his silky golden hair and big blue eyes were disarming. Dan said, "oh, isn't he beautiful?"(now my previous description was true!) I said, "oh,I just LOVE him!" On checkout of the hospital, we had an entrustment ceremony, where the birthmom had a pastor pray over him, and she said her goodbyes and handed him to us for the last time. We proceeded to finish up the world's fastest, most inexpensive and easiest adoption in our century probably. Driving home felt like I had kidknapped someone's little boy! It just felt ODD to be coming home with a new baby that I did not labor to deliver. But it was lovely. We stopped for cloth diapers on the way home and some other things.(he was a spitter upper deluxe) Then we made a brief stop at Aunt Ks(who really became a bio auntie that day too). The birth great grandparents were in for a quick visit too. So they all got to meet the new little guy. His name was Isaiah Luke Joseph. We only stopped for snacks and restroom break and letting the family quickly see the new baby. Then we were off again for the other half of the home trip.
Since then, we have had with our boy-- 4 ER trips, countless Dr visits, shotsstepping on rusty nail, bee sting, bug bites,spider handling, time outs, spankings, kisses, hugs, snuggles and songs...
Lately, he has asked me "will you sing me baby songs while I fall asleep?" He told me at church yesterday that he found the girl he was gonna marry. He recently informed me that he had spent 6 yrs with me and now he would like to spend 6 with M(we have an open adoption btw) I said, "well, buddy, that isn't the way it goes. I am your mama forever and always, and M is your special friend and the lady who birthed you. We can make a trip to see her this summer maybe? I am sure she is wanting to see you too!" He was satisfied with texting her a picture of him with his new tooth gap. There are moments of chaos that seems to be all at his hands. There are moments of bliss that seem to flow straight from his heart. There are moments of in between. There are odd words spoken you could never have prepared for. But in all of it, I am oh so grateful that God said, "spread wide your tent, you will not be ashamed." I love him. He has the funniest sense of seeing the world. His blue eyes wide. His mope of golden hair and his gap toothed grin are adorable and irresistable. I am thankful that God chose ME to be his mama even though he was born of another. I am grateful that she could make such a descision to give. I am grateful we have family on BOTH sides that love us and him. I am grateful to be a mother. The only thing I ever wanted to be I have gotten. I don't care to be rich and famous(though more money... well), I don't want to drive new cars. I don't want a huge fancy house. (just a clean one!) I don't want new furniture or expensive toys. I just want a peaceful, simple home and to be the joyful mother of many.
Posted by Hezra at 6:47 AM